I am the alpha beta male
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I am a soon to be failed stand up comedian. This is, more or less, exactly the same as every other tumblr that's out there. I'm thinking of it as a online scrapbook-journal thing. Hopefully a year or so from now I can look back at this and think about how much I want to punch past-me in the face.

following:

wow-realoriginal thesemi-charmedlife liamdryden patrickcassels wheredidthatbearcomefrom expertcosmotips michaelaranda tediousbrief neil-gaiman collegehumor emilyvgordon fishingboatproceeds zaclittle ursus----arctos poptech cartoonhangover johndarnielle hodgman colchrishadfield beatonna bryankonietzko mulaney gunshowcomic jonahray neilcicierega weirdudenergy fakescience manimator notthatwaycowboy streeter fekbenn blogwell rocketboom iamdonald j-castaneda nedroidcomics adventuretime vondellswain azizisbored kylekinane devil-in-the-shortwave weatherdotcomwantsmedead scannedlife doodlebops windows95tips radiomaru explodingdog pornhubcommentsonstockphotos slomozovo themildrevolution itsvondell charlotteahlin dcpierson charlotte-ahlin samreich fuckiminmy20s hoursongs nakedhawkeye dangurewitch danharmon mynameisboburnham standupcomedyblog watchthecradle pornhubcommentsonvalentines nickkocher doyoubelieveinrapture michelleocomedy egofaptor exquisitebeast superheroesdoingweirdshit tumblrbot imaginawesome amateurlovemakingmonthly imaginefucking mustlovevlogs naturesecrets thestorydump bfvgc domfera fycovers thatgirlyoukindofknow repeatingpepper

dion-thesocialist:

White folks on tumblr be like, “Please be kind to moths. They are doing their best and deserve respect and kindness. Never step on a flower because they are sensitive and have feelings. Also, why can’t I say the n word?”

(via tediousbrief)

 

Blood-Soaked Mayor Bloomberg Announces Homelessness No Longer A Problem In New York City   →

 

(doing an open mic tonight)

(for like the first time in maybe a year, aside from stuff I’ve done at school)

(haha)

 

slihgtlydyslexic:

vuls:

prepare for high school then prepare for college then prepare for your career then prepare for retirement then you’re dead 

then prepare for skeleton war

image

(via liamdryden)

 

furthest-city-light:

One of the best lines from this show.

(Source: fuckyeaharchergifs, via liamdryden)